How Can You Stop Your Dog From Being Overly Protective of You?

My dog, Covid, is very protective of me, which is good to an extent. But he won’t even allow my 16-year-old and 20-year-old kids to hug me without getting defensive toward them. I’m not sure if he is just intimidating them or if he will really attack them, but I don’t want to find out. What can I do to prevent this from happening? - Amanda

This is a scary problem to have, especially when kids are involved. The truth is, it’s also a hard question to give a straightforward answer to. A lot depends on your dog’s motivation. Is your dog protecting you? Is he resource guarding? Is he in fear of the kids? Observe your dog’s body language while going toward your kids — is he barking and growling? Is his hair standing on end? 

In general, focus on utilizing a “stay” cue in this case, ideally through a barrier like a baby gate — but not something as obstructing as, say, a tall fence. Have the dog do a “stay” cue, then have your kids approach. Give them a hug, move away, and give Covid a high-value reward. Repeat this many times. What you’re trying to do is change the dog’s emotional association to people approaching and hugging you. You might want to start with actions smaller than a hug, such as a handshake, or just talking in close proximity. 

As far as Covid’s behavior toward your children, if it seems truly scary and aggressive, you’ll need to expose him to increasingly challenging versions of the things that stress him out. It seems like this isn’t the only thing that makes Covid wig out. There’s something called a “relaxation protocol” — the Karen Overall Relaxation Protocol — that you can find online. Start with that and have some of the last things you do involve family members approaching for a hug. If there’s true danger, make sure there is space between the family and the dog while doing this. 

Sometimes, people train a dog to do a “stay” cue through a barrier, and the dog still reacts when they’re right next to their mom, even if they don’t have a problem from five feet away. In this case, you would have to practice in closer and closer proximity. 

At that point, while practicing, you might want to consider a muzzle to make sure we’re keeping everybody safe. Keep in mind that muzzle training is its own separate task — you shouldn’t just slap a muzzle on a dog. You would need to go through muzzle desensitization. The Muzzle Project is great if you need help doing this. Work on training — the “stay” command and counter conditioning toward family members — while doing muzzle desensitization. Then, as you’re getting closer and closer, you can combine the muzzle and the training protocol.

In addition to training your dog out of overprotective behaviors, it can help to understand where this behavior comes from and why your dog may feel so strongly about keeping you safe. 

Learning about dogs’ protective instinct

Many people love dogs for their loyal behaviors, which go all the way back to their wolf ancestors. Dogs are pack animals, and they consider their human parents part of their pack and will protect you from any perceived threats. While some dogs are more protective than others, all canines have some level of protective instinct and want to keep you safe. 

Protectiveness as a desired trait

Just as you consider your dog a part of your family, they consider you a part of their pack. That means your dog won’t stand for anyone who seems to threaten you. Many dogs were bred over time to guard homes and land by alerting owners to anything that seemed out of place, like a stranger or a wild animal. 

These days, your dog likely doesn’t need to guard your home as intensely, but they will likely still bark to let you know about anything unusual. This is a natural behavior, but your dog should also stay calm and settle down once they understand there’s no real threat. 

When protectiveness gets out of hand

Unfortunately, there’s a rather thin line between protection and aggression, and it can be hard to identify the difference. While your dog’s protective instincts come from a place of love, aggression is a result of fear or insecurity and can quickly turn dangerous. 

An overprotective dog becomes aggressive even when the situation doesn’t call for it and may even try to harm a person or animal who gets near their human. It’s critical that you discourage this behavior if it happens; otherwise, your dog may end up biting or attacking someone. 

Signs that your dog is protecting you

Studies show that dogs genuinely care about their human parents and wish to protect them. Your dog’s instinct to keep you safe is natural and even beneficial. Pay attention to your dog’s body language to understand if they’re trying to protect you. Look for signs such as:

• Blocking you from a perceived threat with their body

• Barking (at strangers, noises, other animals, or anything they consider out of the ordinary)

• Growling in warning

• Staying vigilant and watching for danger

What causes the overprotection behavior?

Your dog wants to protect your pack (yes, that means you) because a pack is stronger together. Dogs tend to be more watchful over members of the family that they perceive as less able to care for themselves, such as babies and small children.

How to fix your dog’s overprotection

If your dog shows any overprotective behavior, such as growling or snarling at anyone who approaches you, make sure to address the behavior immediately. These actions can quickly escalate to more aggressive behavior, which can quickly turn dangerous for your family and those around you. Overprotectiveness may manifest differently in different dogs, but look out for aggressive behavior that is unprovoked, such as showing teeth, barking, snapping, or even biting. 

Create structure and routine

The best thing you can do to prevent overly reactive dog behavior is establish a clear daily routine. Dogs thrive on regular schedules, so make sure to stay consistent with training and slowly expose your dog to new people, animals, and situations. 

Stay calm

Dogs pick up on their human parents’ moods, so even if your dog acts overly protective, it’s important to stay calm yourself. Even if you feel nervous, do your best not to show it and encourage your dog to approach new situations with calm curiosity. 

Distance from others

When out walking your dog or meeting new people, always keep your distance at first. If your dog has a history of aggressive or overprotective behavior, make sure to stay well away from other people and animals to avoid an incident. 

Slow approach on a leash

Always use a leash when introducing your dog to someone new. A leash provides you with control and allows you to pull the dog away if things become testy. 

Socialize your dog

Most aggressive or overprotective behavior can be prevented with proper socialization and training. Your dog should be socialized with a variety of people, animals, and situations early in their life to help avoid later behavioral issues. And even if you adopt an adult dog, you can still work on socialization and training to help them feel more secure and less likely to lash out. 

A vet’s response to a common overprotective dog question

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While working with a dog behaviorist is key to reducing overprotective behaviors, it’s also important to consult your veterinarian to determine what’s causing these reactions — and what you can do to reduce and prevent the behavior.

Dr. Leslie Sinn, a veterinary behaviorist in Ashburn, Virginia, notes that overprotective behavior in dogs may stem from fear or resource guarding. “If a dog is showing signs of overt/forward aggression, it is serious. For example, stiffing, staring, moving between the owner and the approaching person or dog, growling, barking, and/org lunging are all signs that the dog is struggling.”

How can I stop my dog from being overly protective of me?

As with any unwanted behavior, never punish your dog for being overly protective. Work on training to ensure that your dog listens to commands like sit and stay. Once your dog has calmed down, reward them with a high-value treat. If your dog continues to act aggressively, keep them away from other people and animals until you have control. 

“Ask for an alternative behavior, such as sit or move behind me, and reward [the dog for their good behavior,” Dr. Sinn says. She also emphasizes the importance of reading your dog’s body language and warning others if your dog is worried or anxious. “Remove the dog from the situation or prevent the situation from occurring in the first place, meaning, if your dog is not social, then don’t take him to the brewery with you!”

With patience and consistency, as well as the efforts of a vet and behaviorist, you can work on reducing your dog’s overprotective behaviors and helping them feel more secure with new situations and people.

References

• “Aggression in Dogs - Territorial.” VCA_corporate, 2012, vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/aggression-in-dogs-territorial. 

• How to Stop Territorial Barking | Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine. 15 Apr. 2020, vet.tufts.edu/news-events/news/how-stop-territorial-barking. 

• Yes, Your Dog Wants to Rescue You | ASU News. 28 May 2020, news.asu.edu/20200528-discoveries-yes-your-dog-wants-rescue-you.