Sausage Dog Unimpressed by Hot Dog Toy

When I became the proud owner of the iconically hot-dog-shaped Dachshund, Moose, I knew I wanted to lean in hard to the resemblance. Knowing the hot-dog Halloween costume had been done a million times, I decided to take a more minimalist approach with P.LA.Y.’s American Classic Collection — a bundle of five stuffed toys resembling fast-food menu options: a hamburger, french fries, fried chicken, strawberry milkshake, and, of course, a hot dog…

…that moose hated. 

When the box came, I threw all the other toys to the side and immediately shoved the stuffed hot dog in his face. I already had my hilarious Instagram caption planned and everything (something equally profound and hilarious like “love my cannibalistic cutie!”). All for this dog to take ONE SNIFF and promptly walk away from the toy in an unimpressed huff. 

Suffice it to say I was appropriately devastated — my precious online presence had been obliterated by the one dog who was meant to keep it afloat. Still, trying not to make the situation completely about me, I offered Moose the rest of the toys in the box. Ironically, Moose was drawn to the natural enemy of the hot dog: the hamburger. Admittedly the hamburger is the most ornate of the bundle, consisting of three separate pieces: two squeaker buns with a crinkly patty, cheese, lettuce and tomato combo.

Moose, who is famously toothless, loves any and all crinkly toys. For that reason, the fries, which were also partially crinkly, came in a close second. For Moose, that is — my girlfriend’s toothful dog, Harper, had no problem happily tearing the milkshake, fried chicken, and (awkwardly) the hot dog to shreds.

Despite my missed social media opportunity, I was pretty impressed by the collection. To start, the bundle is offered in extra-small or medium sizes and has a little something for everyone — including the picky, toothless Moose. I also liked that the toys met the quality manufacturing standard for children and infant toys (he is my baby, after all) and that they were made with PlanetFill® which is made from “ 100% post-consumer certified-safe recycled plastic bottles.”

More than anything, P.L.A.Y. impressed me as a brand. They use green, high-quality manufacturing standards to make adorable toys at a very affordable price (stuffed toys start at $5.90). You can also get 20% off on your first order when you sign up for texts or P.L.A.Y’s newsletter. 

Personally, my next order will be the Barking Brunch Collection. I just pray Moose sipping on a fake, crinkly bloody mary is enough to bring in the social media validation I so crave. 

P.L.A.Y. American Classic Collection

$40

$40 at P.L.A.Y.