Why Does Your Cat Run Away From You?

Cats are coquettish. Even knowing that, a pet parent can’t help but feel forlorn when their beloved kitty runs away from them. While their kitty might indeed be feeling playful, they could also be communicating something else like stress, illness, and a lack of socialization. Understanding the reasons for your cats’ behavior can help you make changes that will make them more comfortable and learn to trust you. 

Potential reasons cats run away from their owners 

Personality

Cats are individuals. While one cat might rarely leave the couch and enjoy a scratch on the head from anyone who happens to be nearby, another might spend much of the day under the bed. It’s normal for cats to be asocial. Claude Béata — a Parisian veterinary psychiatrist whose book, The Interpretation of Cats, is a French bestseller — said to The New York Times: “They are individuals, and we have to respect them.” 

Jennifer Van de Kieft, a cat behaviorist in Brooklyn who has five felines of her own, says cats come and go on their own terms: “The way cats work, they like high-frequency, low-intensity interactions. They may or may not want you to touch them. A lot of cat owners know you don’t go around trying to pet them.” 

Mood

Cats are famously mercurial. Many factors can influence their moods, from a change in routine, a sudden loud noise, their age, and over-stimulation. Some breeds are simply wired for moodiness. So, if your cat is behaving normally and then suddenly runs away, this may just be one of those unpredictable feline mood swings. 

It can also be genetics, Van de Kieft says. One of her cats, Oscar, was trapped feral. He’s her most affectionate cat, but only when he’s in the mood. “He’s not the cat you’re trying to approach. He’d be like, ‘What, are you trying to kill me?!’ You always wait for Oscar to approach you. The way it works is you really want your cat to come to you.” 

 Playfulness

Speaking of moods, if a cat’s feeling playful, they might scamper away, tail in the air, with a “come and catch me” attitude. Cats are naturally playful and curious. Unlike dogs, though, they’re not always up for fun and games. So if you think your cat is running away because they want to play, seize the opportunity by bonding with some playtime. 

Stress or fear

Cats convey stress and fear in several ways, including running away and hiding. Dr. Emma Rogers-Smith says in a Cats.com article that cats pick up on triggers that are imperceptible to us. If your cat is exhibiting additional signs of stress and fear — such as aggressive behavior, spraying, skipping the litter box, or meowing incessantly — they’re trying to tell you something. Van de Kieft recalls the time a crew of workers began replacing the windows in her apartment building: Her cats were clearly stressed and weren’t seeking affection. One of her solutions was playing calming cat music by David Teie. “This music has science behind it,” she says. “Every time I play it, I can just see the cats are more relaxed.” 

Illness or injury

As with stress and fear, illness and injury can lead to behavior changes. Cats are stoic and will mask illness and injury, so watch closely for changes in energy and appetite. Look for unusual discharge from their eyes or nose, excessive grooming, and labored breathing. If they’re in pain when you try to pick them up, they’ll squirm and try to run away. When your cat is calm and receptive, try to pinpoint the cause of pain. Always consult your veterinarian if you sense something is wrong. 

Lack of socialization

If you adopted a cat later in life and can only guess how they were raised — or you know your cat wasn’t handled enough as a kitten — they might be running away because they are fearful around people. Van de Kieft says some cats (like her Oscar) aren’t well socialized. “If you came over to interview me,” she says, “maybe you wouldn’t see any cats.”  

Fortunately, there are ways to socialize your cat, even well past kittenhood. Working on this will encourage your cat to imprint on you and become more social. 

Lack of trust

Cats are the ultimate arbiters of patience. You just can’t make a cat trust you. If you lose your patience with a cat because they’re missing the litter box or clawing the couch, you’ll lose their trust, and they’ll be more likely to flee from you.

Environmental factors

Fear triggered by sudden loud noises like thunder, the blender, or the vacuum cleaner will prompt a feline flight response. Or it could be you, the pet parent, approaching them with things they don’t like, such as a pill or nail clippers. 

Hunting instincts

Outdoor cats in particular will succumb to the call of the wild (or the call of that bird down the block). Keeping your cat well-fed and hydrated will diminish some of their instinct to run away and hunt, but few cats can resist a good mouse hunt. Given their evolution as predators, even the most domesticated cats are hardwired to hunt. 

Territory 

Cats are, by nature, territorial. Whether that’s indoors, in the backyard, or around the neighborhood, they’ll plant their flag and defend it — or find someplace safer. From the cat’s perspective, you might be invading their territory. If the litter box is in the guest room, for instance, and that room fills up when friends come to town, don’t be surprised if your pet runs and hides. Outdoor cats might run away if they sense an intruder such as a dog or another cat in their territory. 

Mating or reproductive instincts

Sometimes when a female cat is in heat, she may become extra clingy. But like females of another species (ahem, you know who you are), she may just want to be left alone. Un-neutered males might be running away to find a mate — so, please, prioritize a trip to the vet to get your cat fixed.  

Tips for building trust with your cat

If a lack of trust might be the reason your cat is running away from you, try engaging in the following behaviors to strengthen your bond. Following the idea that it’s best to let your cat come to you, Van de Kieft says, “If you are coming to your cat, you better have something good.” (She uses clicker training followed by treats to reinforce positive interactions.) Practice patience, and play a little hard to get. She says it’s like when you go to a party and the cat is most interested in the person who is the least interested in them. “Sometimes, it takes a while for that trust relationship to build,” she adds. 

With the above in mind, here are a few tips to get you started.

•Slow blinking: This is Cat Speak 101. You’ll know you’ve earned your feline friend’s trust when they engage in that most desired cat behavior: slow blinking. In the love language of cats, slow blinking means a cat feels calm and safe. To get them to slow blink, try it yourself as a trust-building exercise. Face your cat, relax your facial muscles, and slowly close your eyes and open them again.

•Interactive play: Boredom can prompt cats to run away. Interactive play beats boredom and promotes bonding. It also keeps cats from chewing and scratching where they shouldn’t. There are lots of great interactive toys like food puzzles, or a ball of yarn or string never fails to amuse. Van de Kieft recommends daily play sessions and says the best toy for most cats is the wand toy. “Cats are designed to spend their waking hours hunting. When you can mimic that behavior they really enjoy it,” she says. Make the toy “run away” from your cat to mimic real prey and watch them pounce.

•Positive interactions: Interactive play is certainly a positive interaction. But things as simple as a gentle pat, an unexpected treat, and grooming are also positive experiences. All of these build trust and provide positive reinforcement for good behavior.

•Create safe spaces: Cats like to retreat — something every introvert understands. Provide safe spaces in your home for a cat to hide, like a blanket on a shelf or under a bed, or a cat tree. If your household is busy, your cat needs to trust that they’ll be able to retreat and rejoin the activity around them at will. 

•Respect your cat’s limits: Now that you know why safe spaces are important, don’t violate them. Never pull a cat out from under a bed or down from a shelf. Because really, who wants to be pulled out of bed? Forcing a cat to do anything is the surest way to break their trust. 

FAQs 

How can I tell if my cat is scared?

The body language of a scared cat is obvious. They’ll flatten their ears, tuck or swish their tail, arch their back, and possibly hiss and growl. And, yes, cats will often run away when they’re scared. 

Why is my cat suddenly running away from me?

There can be many possible reasons why they’re running from you. Fear, distrust, or lack of socialization are common explanations. It’s also possible they’re sick or injured, their territory is being threatened, or they’ve simply had enough attention. 

Is it normal for my cat to run away from me?

In many cases, yes. However, sometimes running away can be a sign that there’s a problem with their health or environment. So be alert for behavioral changes that accompany running away. 

Why does my cat run away when I stand up?

You’ve likely startled them. Try not to stand up abruptly, especially if your cat is new to you, and you haven’t yet developed a close bond. 

Why does my cat cuddle with me and then run away?

Lived properly, life happens on a cat’s terms. So while you might want to cuddle for a few more minutes, your cat — who’s just deigned to give you affection — is likely over that moment. 

References

• Malaker, Ed. “10 Vet-Reviewed Reasons Why Your Cat Runs Away & How to Stop It - Catster.” Catster, 15 Nov. 2024, www.catster.com/cat-behavior/why-does-my-cat-run-away-from-me/. Accessed 2 Dec. 2024.

• Rogers-Smith, Emma. “Why Does My Cat Run Away from Me?” Cats.com, 4 July 2022, cats.com/why-does-my-cat-run-away-from-me. Accessed 2 Dec. 2024.

• Sanda. “Why Do Cats Run Away? 10 Reasons & How to Stop 'Em.” Tractive, 29 Oct. 2024, tractive.com/blog/en/good-to-know/why-your-cat-is-running-away. Accessed 2 Dec. 2024.

• Stein, Sadie. “A French Veterinary Psychiatrist Puts Cats on the Couch.” The New York Times, 3 Nov. 2024, www.nytimes.com/2024/11/03/books/a-french-veterinary-psychiatrist-puts-cats-on-the-couch.html.