Does Your Dog Miss You When You’re Gone?

The moment you leave for vacation, the guilt sets in. Not only are you waiting at the airport gate missing your dog, but your dog is back home with their sitter (a stranger, basically!), sobbing into their dinner bowl and wondering how you could possibly have abandoned them after they’ve been so good. An angel, really. 

At least that’s the dramatic scenario that plays out in your head — and, let’s face it, the one that most pet parents probably imagine. (Although, let’s be clear, we know our audience is full of the kind of pet parents who carefully vet their pet sitters.) But the real question is: Do our dogs actually miss us, or is it all a human construct, and we should calm down? 

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How do dogs experience time?

First, it’s important to note that dogs don’t experience time like people do, and this affects whether they know how long we’ve been gone. Obviously, they can’t tap their iPhone to see how long it’s been since you left, so they have to do the next best thing. “They have a very good sense of smell,” says dog trainer Terry Lynn Cuyler. “Your scent fades over time, and this is how they can sense how long you have been away.” In other words, they can smell time.

So, your pup can tell that your scent has started to dissipate, and that will give them a sense of whether you’ve been away 20 minutes or 20 hours. Our pups can also respond to other clues that time has passed, such as sunlight and noises outside, like people driving home from work or birds chirping in the morning.

“Dogs are excellent at understanding contextual cues and joining the dots of what is happening in their environment,” trainer Petrina Firth chimes in. “This is why typically people tend to think their dog knows they are coming before someone actually arrives home or when dinnertime is.”

Do dogs miss us?

Because our dogs have a sense of how long we’ve been gone, logic would suggest that they are sad that we are away for long periods of time.  

“If we allow for the fact that they’re sentient beings and that they have complex emotional lives, there will obviously be some similarities on how a dog might experience the person that they’re bonded to being absent,” trainer Matt Beisner says. But, he notes, it’s not quite so simple. 

As dog-cognition expert Alexandra Horowitz told this TikToker, we tend to anthropomorphize our dogs’ behavior, or in other words, attribute human characteristics to our pets.

“The anthropomorphization and concept of ‘missing us’ may be more of a humanization of how we think dogs feel when separated from us,” Firth says. “Missing someone suggests a contemplative state and is perhaps an oversimplification when talking about separation-related behavior.”

That kind of thinking doesn’t help us to necessarily understand our dogs and their needs better either. 

“Humans brood over memories, count the hours, and grow lonely from time to time. Dogs live in the moment,” Cuyler says. “They don’t sit and reflect on that great walk last Sunday. But that is not to say they don’t miss us. They do notice changes in routine, surroundings, and most of all, the feeling of security.”  

That’s why it’s so important to make sure you trust the person who’s watching your dog while you’re away (or, if you’re gone only a few hours, to make sure your dog has everything they need while you’re out). 

As dog behavior consultant Daniel Neale told Kinship last year: “Don’t worry about them missing you too much, as long as they are having their needs met and they’re comfortable.” He added that dogs’ needs are much more immediate and that “it’s less likely that your dog is going to miss you [in the way you miss them].” 

You can help your pup feel safe when you’re gone.

That’s not to say your dog won’t notice your absence (as anyone whose dog has experienced separation anxiety can attest). “Dogs can feel huge emotional pain when separated. Some dogs feel intense panic or anxiety and others a huge amount of frustration and anger,” Firth says, noting that these separation problems are typically due to unmet psychological needs or a lack of human interaction. 

Beisner makes sure that he lets his Blue Nose Pit Bull know she’s safe before he leaves. “Deja Blue is what we would call an anxious dog,” he says. “She’s really sensitive, so I go spend time with her, and at this point, it’s probably not more than 20 to 30 seconds, but she likes a belly rub. I just look for opportunities to connect with her. I look for changes in her body language that tell me that her heart rate is slowing down, her breathing is slowing down, and she’s in a better frame of mind when I leave.”

Firth stresses that keeping your dog’s routine as normal as possible can help them feel comfortable while you’re away. “However, for many dogs, extended absences can often equal a larger disruption in routines and understanding of predictable schedules, which can make the dog more anxious as their world keeps changing,” she adds.  

If your pup is having trouble with separation anxiety — or with handling your absence during vacations, for example — it’s smart to work with your veterinarian or a positive-reinforcement trainer or behaviorist. These people can help your dog live their best life, even on the days when you’re not right there with them.  

Every dog is different.

The extent to which your dog “misses” you might also depend on the individual animal. “I’ve encountered dogs that don’t bat an eye when their owner leaves and others that howl at the door the second they’re alone,” Cuyler notes.  

“They’ll have their own unique emotional experience,” Beisner says. “For a Pit Bull family, when we come home, we get the wiggles, you know? My Terrier used to give me the hops; my Husky would howl at me.” 

And the more secure a dog is in their environment, the less they might be bummed in your absence (and that’s a good thing). Beisner points out that it could be a positive sign if your pup doesn’t run to the door when you arrive home; it suggests that they were comfortable enough without you there. 

“Dogs that are used to structure and confidence-building exercises handle separation so much better than dogs that are unsure of their surroundings,” Cuyler adds. “This is why training is not just about teaching ‘sit’ and ‘stay.’ It’s about building trust, comfort, and a strong bond, so even when you're not there, your dog will know everything is OK.” 

Beisner echoes that. 

“We’re starting to talk more and more about a dog being resilient [in the behavior world], and that’s not because we’re trying to make life hard on them, but we want them to be able to feel more resilient in this modern world, which is so challenging,” he says. 

So, what’s the final verdict?

Do our dogs really miss us? “Not necessarily in the same way that we do,” Cuyler says. “But when they see us walk through that door, their joy is 100 percent real. And that’s even better.”  

What’s more, it’s essential to always be sensitive to their needs and find ways to make sure they feel safe, even when we’re not there to keep an eye on them.

“It’s worth remembering that from an evolutionary perspective, we designed dogs to want to hang out with us, and be with us,” Firth says. “For some breeds, we explicitly designed them as companion dogs, so their neediness and ‘missing us’ is an adaptation we selected for.”