How Will Getting a Dog Affect My Social Life?

After adopting a dog, your life will never be the same, and neither will you. Never again will you return to an empty home, as there will always be an enthusiastic pup to greet you. You’ll quickly learn that you’re capable of a previously inconceivable love that is absolute and unconditional. Not to mention, loneliness will be a thing of the past. The very definition of companionship will forever be altered in your mind.

Before I adopted my dog, I thought I had a pretty good handle on the concept. But learning to cope with another creature following me into the bathroom to regularly watch me bathe and use the toilet changed my perspective. 

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When you introduce a dog into your life, you’ll simply become happier and healthier. Numerous studies have boasted about the mental and physical benefits of pet parenthood because, by all accounts, pet parents tend to exercise more and stress less. Even the bleakness of your daily alarm will be replaced with face licks and cuddles.

Of course, there are external changes, too. Dogs require a hefty time and energy commitment similar to raising a child. And just like having a kid — brace for the collective sigh from human parents — dogs create new responsibilities that will outweigh social obligations. As a result, your relationships with friends and social life overall will likely change. In some ways, it’ll hamper your social life, in others it’ll enhance it. In either respect, though, it’ll be well worth it.

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When you’re adopting a dog, expect change.

While I continue to navigate my — gulp — 30s, two significant trends have appeared. For one, I’m always tired. More importantly, however, I’ve noticed a growing split within my friend group. Everyone’s either having a kid or adopting a dog with very little crossover between the two. Regardless, as so often is the case, each side of this conflict is far more alike than anyone would like to admit.

The difference is usually only with expectations. Human parents tend to better understand the weight of responsibility and social sacrifices associated with creating a new life. I mean, not many people expect to hit the bars more often after having a kid. But aspiring dog parents should be aware that they, too, will see their social calendars shift.

“In many respects, getting a dog can be similar to having a child in terms of the impact on your social life,” says Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a New York-based neuropsychologist and founder of Comprehend the Mind. In both cases, another living being is entirely dependent on you for food, security, and attention. To say nothing of the fact that they’re both wildly expensive — one other reason you might see your social outings diminish. Dr. Hafeez explains that each scenario involves a shift in priorities where the well-being of your new dependent overshadows all other concerns, especially your friend’s desire to catch up. 

When thinking back to the days before I gave birth to my dog (you didn’t hear that), I’m floored by the free time I had. For five months of the year, my Sundays were reserved from morning to night solely for watching football, rarely at home, usually at a bar. And this was my pseudo recovery day; previous nights were often much more rambunctious.

Now, I can’t imagine slamming shots over a dingy stool for hours on end, and not just because I can now barely finish one beer without falling asleep. But the thought of leaving my dog home alone for that long simultaneously breaks my heart and ignites every ounce of anxiety that I’m capable of feeling. Bottom line: after adopting a pet, lifestyle concessions must be made, which is why I bought a much larger TV and raised my pup to love the Green Bay Packers.

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You can still be there for your friends (just far less often).

For fear of angry emails, I’ll admit that getting a dog isn’t quite as socially depleting as having a kid. But it still puts a cap on parties, get-togethers, and any other event that you could otherwise linger at for hours. As Courtney Morgan, licensed therapist and founder of Counseling Unconditionally in Louisville, Kentucky, explains, “Having a dog impacts your social schedule because you may have to return home to let them outside or feed them, and overnight stays may become more challenging.”

She adds that these obstacles will get easier as the pet acclimates to their new home but many limitations may persist.

That being said, your availability for plans will permanently shift and any proposed trips or extended gatherings will be contingent on a dog sitter or the venue’s level of dog-friendliness. Not to mention, you can kiss the prospect of ever making spontaneous plans again goodbye.

Naturally, this can all alter the fabric of your friendships. In general, you will likely see your friends less due to the preexisting responsibilities inherited with caring for a dog. This is especially true for more skittish buddies who have human children, especially when your dog weighs more than 12 pounds and may appear intimidating to little ones (despite being the opposite). Things might even get a bit awkward for non-dog-loving friends, though I personally never trust those people to begin with.

“It also impacts who you may find comfortable inviting into your home, as your guests will feel much more comfortable in your home if they are also dog lovers,” Morgan notes. 

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You’ll naturally befriend other dog parents who get it.

None of this should be a huge cause for concern as it’s a perfectly natural part of life. People grow, interests change, and friends drift apart. Anyone who’s seen the end of The Sandlot can tell you that. Besides, a lot of this will happen regardless of your position on the pet-versus-child debate. But pet parenthood isn’t merely a net negative for social lives, it’s more of a slight shift. For every pal left behind on the bar crawling battlefield, you’ll make a new one at the dog park.

“Dog ownership naturally facilitates social interactions through activities like walks, visits to dog parks, and pet-friendly events, where meeting other dog owners becomes easy and frequent,” Dr. Hafeez says. “These encounters often lead to meaningful connections and friendships, helping to build a social network in a new environment.”

She adds that dog parents may find themselves gravitating toward others in similar situations, not unlike human parents befriending other parents in play groups or at pre-school. For each group, the goal is to create a support network based on shared responsibilities and understanding. This way, your friends won’t mind when you make last-minute schedule adjustments because of whatever shenanigans your pup has gotten into that day. 

And you’ll always have something to talk about.

For those with social anxiety, new to their city, or who otherwise struggle to meet new people, adopting a pup might be the safety net they’ve long dreamed of. Pet parenting is a great equalizer where everyone knows how to break the ice: talk about your dog. The age when deep connections were made through an exchange of ideas has been traded for a camera roll swap of endless pics featuring your dogs sleeping. As Morgan puts it, “Having a dog opens us up to new social interactions that we would not have otherwise, and it also helps us feel connected and purposeful.”

I can’t tell you how many friendships I have these days that are entirely contingent on us talking about our dogs being goofy little weirdos. Sure, it may seem sad that my personality is now mostly an extension of my pet parenting. But I’d rather that than going on and on about my kid’s journey towards being upright.

My dog’s been walking since she was, like, a month old; it’s not that impressive. You know what’s really extraordinary? All of these pics of my Pittie sunbathing. So if you’re about to adopt a dog, clear your schedule and update your iCloud storage. Welcome to the rest of your life.