7 Lies We’ve Been Told About What Dogs Like

People are given all sorts of advice that experts disagree with. Thanks to the ease of sharing information in the age of social media, the bad ideas spread quickly, gaining traction with alarming ease. 

This problem is hardly unique to the dog world. In fact, lies rampage over the truth in a variety of fields. A few weeks ago, my stylist debunked some myths I’d believed about keeping my hair healthy (apparently you can brush your hair too much!), and a bicycle mechanic told me what I was doing to keep my bike in good shape was actually hurting it (apparently you can put too much oil on your bike chain, too!).

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So, now that I’ve had some people course-correct me on a couple of things in my life, I felt maybe I should do the same for dog parents. Here are seven lies that are often shared about dog behavior.

You should reach your hand out when meeting a dog for the first time.

It’s not a good idea to advise people that this is the perfect way to act around any dog. If you do this to a friendly, sociable dog, they will likely sniff you and happily move on to the next stage of getting to know you. But reaching your hand out to greet a pup is a great way to upset them — and possibly get a bite to the hand (or worse).

Showing your hand to a fearful dog will probably make them more afraid. It’s threatening and unpleasant for them and can make their fear of people worse. Even more alarming: Most dogs who are aggressive act this way because they are afraid. Do not give a dog a reason to bite your hand.

The best thing you can do when meeting a dog is to let them approach you. Stand still (not rigidly—stay relaxed!) with your arms at your side, then turn a little to the side with your weight shifted to the leg further away from the dog. If the dog comes up to you, great! If they don't, let them be. If they do choose to come, it is much more likely to be a safe and enjoyable experience for all when you pet them.

Dog's like when you pet them on the top of the head.

Sure, many dogs tolerate it without doing anything, but they still probably are not really into it. Don’t believe me? Watch people with their dogs, and notice how often pups try to get away or dodge the hand reaching over their head to pet it.

Most dogs will politely let you know that they are not enjoying it, but it’s a good idea for humans to cut it out and pet dogs where they enjoy it. Most often they enjoy pets on the chest, behind the ears, or on the back at the base of the tail.

You can see the guilt on your dog’s face.

So many people say their dog acts guilty in certain situations — when they come home and see missing food or a wrapper on the floor. But we know from scientific research that pups may look shameful, but that isn’t necessarily what they are feeling. 

In a 2015 study, researchers looked at nearly 100 dogs and their people; the pet parents were instructed to forbid their dog from eating a piece of ham and then leave the room. Then an experimenter either picked up the ham or left it for the dog to eat. The returning pet parent had no way of knowing whether their dog ate the ham. And per the study, they could not tell, based on their dog’s expression, whether they felt guilty.

Dogs are acting “guilty” when their people scold them, not when they have eaten something they shouldn’t. The guilty look is an attempt to appease their people and has nothing to do with their behavior.

A tail wag always means a dog is friendly.

Sadly, it is not this simple. The most accurate interpretation of a tail wag is not that the dog is friendly, but that the they are willing to interact. Friendly dogs are certainly willing to interact, and they wag their tails. But there are unfriendly ways of interacting, and dogs with these intentions also wag their tails. The details of the tail wag can tell you more about whether it’s is a friendly one. 

If your dog’s full body (or at least their whole backside) is moving while they wag their tail, they are more likely to be friendly. The same is true if the pup’s tail moves fast, while remaining fluid and flexible. If the tail rotates in a circle starting at the base, this is also a sign of friendliness. In contrast, if you see a pup do a slow, stiff tail wag — perhaps only the tip of the tail is wagging — this is a warning, especially if the rest of their body is also stiff. These days, more people know that a wagging tail does not always equal a friendly dog. But I still regularly have clients who say, “I can’t believe they bit someone; they were wagging their tail!” 

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

Happily, this is not true at all. Dogs remain flexible in their behavior throughout their lives and can always learn new skills. There is no age limit on training a dog, and many pups continue to learn deep into their golden years. 

While age itself does not interfere with dogs learning something new, conditions that are often associated with aging may be a problem. If a dog is old enough to have orthopedic issues, for example, they may resist certain actions because they are painful for them. Similarly, if they experience severe cognitive decline, they will struggle to learn. Otherwise, they can be excellent students no matter how gray their muzzles are. 

You don’t need to walk your dog if they are out in the yard a lot.

It’s a mistake to assume your dog is running around and getting the exercise they need when alone in the yard. Dogs just don’t tend to do that. They might run a little along the fence or race out into the yard when you first open the door, but mostly they lie around or walk slowly and sniff.

Dogs don’t tend to exercise themselves. Also, part of what a walk provides (for dogs who can handle them and benefit from them) is enrichment in the form of stimulating sights, sounds, smells, and social encounters. Your dog misses these benefits if they are not given the opportunity to explore beyond their own fences. 

Their poor behavior is your fault. 

This lie has caused so much pain to many good people who have dogs with less-than-ideal behavior. Of course how we raise our dogs influences who they become and how they behave, but it’s not the only thing that does. 

Their genetics are hugely influential. They may be naturally shy, tend to be afraid of anything new, react strongly to loud noises, or have such a high energy level that giving them adequate exercise is a Sisyphean task. Also, we can’t control everything that happens to them, and one traumatic incident out of our control can derail a lot of dogs, no matter how skillfully we train them. 

Another issue is their health. If a dog suffers from a bad health incident, that can have a big influence on them, especially if it happens at a young age, and they miss out on some important experiences. This lie, sometimes alternatively phrased as, “there are no bad dogs, only bad people,” is so prevalent that it’s one of the most common comments I hear from people when they learn what I do for a living. I find myself constantly telling people that many of my clients have raised two, five, eight, or even 11 dogs. But they are only calling me about one of these dogs, which tells me it isn’t about them. 

References

• Ostojić, Ljerka, et al. “Are Owners’ Reports of Their Dogs’ “Guilty Look” Influenced by the Dogs’ Action and Evidence of the Misdeed?” Behavioural Processes, vol. 111, Feb. 2015, pp. 97–100, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.beproc.2014.12.010.